when the task is unfathomable
when you have no choice but to relinquish control
when you’ve done all you can
breathe.
when the world seems too large
and the options too endless
the outcomes too pressing
pause.
when you can’t sleep at night
the thoughts too loud
the choices too captivating
surrender.
be still
hold your ground
and trust.
Day 4 of the new year in the books.
I don’t necessarily make resolutions because I don’t see the point of waiting until December 31st to make a change [just do it when you’re ready to commit to change/improvement, etc.]
However, I do feel a stronger sense of gratitude and appreciation for many things – big & small. #1 would be my family. My mom, a teenage mother, who sacrificed the world for me. My grandparents who raised her, my amazing aunt, and me all at the same time. My great aunt who introduced me to Jesus & is now my prayer partner. My boyfriend who I know would do anything for me.
Throughout much of my life, I’ve taken a lot for granted. I’ve made selfish decisions. I’ve cut corners. I’ve felt false feelings of entitlement. But the older I get, the more I realize how amazingly blessed I am. And how blessed I know you are too.
Are our lives perfect? No. Will they ever be? No, I mean why do we feel this sense that everything is supposed to flow seamlessly? Like we can be as wealthy as we want with the snap of a finger. Like our bodies can be something out of a [photoshopped] magazine. Like pain & heartbreak will never occur. Like we will be happy 365 days a year.
That’s not life. And no one promised us that.
Imagine if we were constantly “happy.” It would lose its meaning. Happy would be, by definition, average. We wouldn’t be able to appreciate it when it comes because it’d always just be…there.
Happiness should be a celebration. And I don’t just mean contentness, I mean genuine joy. That feeling when you finally get to hug someone you’ve missed. The satisfaction of jumping on to your bed after a long day. Perhaps for some of us, the excitement of waking up to the smell of fresh cinnamon rolls and coffee.
Meanwhile, those moments of pain, fear, and sadness are important too. They force us to grow. To better ourselves. To better our lives.
My focus in 2024 is to be present with those I love. To pray. To give thanks. To shift focus away from material possessions and more toward family. Being the best daughter, granddaughter, niece, cousin, girlfriend, and dog mom I can be.
More soon.
XX
Literally, just own your sh*t. Whatever it is you do, big or small, it’s yours. Claim it. Or change it if you don’t like it.
You don’t have to be like that other person over there. Copying them is doing nothing for yourself. We are all made with our own set of unique abilities because without variety, humankind would have never made it this far.
Some of us are beautifully creative and fun, but are at the peak of the mountain when it comes to stubbornness and indecision. Others are assertive and intelligent but are also equip with big egos ( Beyoncé said it, not me.) Then there are those who are timid and quiet, yet have huge impacts when they do speak whether that is through writing, music, or any other outlet. Some people are A+ students in a classroom but get a C when it comes to social skills. And some of us are just varying mixes of all these amazing personalities combined.
Again, whatever you are, own it. Don’t ever stop being yourself for anyone. Don’t let superficial media change you. Don’t let a partner force you to mold into someone you’re not.
Own the crap out of yourself. Unapologetically. And don’t look back.
XX
What do you value most?
For some of us, we may say things like family and friends, knowledge, health, or success. However, the truth regarding what we value most is not measured by the words we say, it is instead shown through what we prioritize in our daily lives.
For instance, let’s say your #1 value is family. Well, how much time do you devote to them each day, whether in person or through some form of digital communication. I understand for some of us this may be a tough one due to life circumstance and distance. However, there are many ways to show love without being physically next to a person. One thing I do is order their favorite meal to be delivered to their home through any of the countless food delivery providers out there. Another option, besides obvious texts and phone calls, is sending them a letter. My mom sends me letters every couple of months and they always put a smile on my face. What I’m trying to say is: If family is on our list of top values, then let’s act like it and put in the effort (myself included).
Beyond time commitment, there are other ways to do this as well. For my family, education is one of the main values they instilled in me as a child. When I get home from a long day and don’t want to study, I can’t just not do it. Obtaining good grades and graduating with honors is something I know would make my family proud. I think most of us know that thing our parents want for us. Maybe it’s not education, maybe it’s something else. But find it. And use it to fuel you.
Okay, that was family. Now let’s take a step back. Think of the five things you value most and write them down. Do your daily actions align with them?
For some of us, based on our habits, it would seem as if we value social media and television over what we claim we value most. That’s why an audit is needed. We need to act as the forensic accountants of our own lives and find the inconsistencies. Write them down in the ledger and take action to align the checks and balances.
More soon.
XX
I recently saw a post titled “7 Things Others Like That I Don’t.” And honestly, I wish I had seen it sooner because somehow that little paragraph is all my brain needed to be motivated enough to come back to this dying blog. That’s right- I’m grabbing the chest paddles and we’re reviving this thing. #InMyResuscitationEra.
To be fair, that’s not the only thing bringing me back. Besides being well overdue for some self-therapy techniques, I also just finished watching A Fault in Our Stars. (Yes, it’s from 2014 but so is this blog and we’re still killing it here, clearly.) I’m not going to spoil the movie for you, but I will say it is a one-of-a-kind epic love story that will make you laugh while crying (and vice versa) throughout the entire film. Add in a sprinkle-no, heap- of grief and we’re all in at 100% via my own personal Rotten Tomato rating of the movie.
In all seriousness, the story did have me take a step back. My mind is far too often either stuck in the past or anxious about the future. It’s as if the present doesn’t exist. This story consciously brought me back to one of the most obvious truths- we live in the now. Today is what matters because that’s where we’re at in this exact moment. That “stupid” comment you made at work yesterday doesn’t matter. Stressing about the A you want at the end of the semester isn’t worth the brain space because instead you should be focused on what you can do in this current moment to achieve that grade. (I mean, read this post in this exact moment. But like in a hour or so, yeah. Pick up your textbook maybe?)
Anyway, my whole point is to just be present and grateful in whatever today brings. And for me, that looks like the creation of this blog post. I did promise you 7 Things so here goes:
7 Things Others Like That I Don’t
So there you have it. My 7 Misfits. Part of the reason I love this prompt is because I feel like society pushes us to agree with things. A GroupThink culture is in style. Instead, I think we need to acknowledge and be grateful for the little quirks and preferences that make each of us different. And I promise, if you’re a makeup-loving, Tik Tok addict with a pet mouse, I still love you.
More Soon.
XX
I know what you’re thinking…and no that’s not it. This plus one has four legs and weighs twenty grams. He is Armani, my new companion animal. Armani goes by the species type of bearded dragon, but he’s a lot cooler than that.
He adorable goes to bed at exactly 8:30 PM every night. He looks up at me and follows my person as I walk by his terrarium. He poops only when I give him his daily mid-afternoon sink bath. He falls asleep in my hand. He eats raspberries when I finger feed him. He (almost) always scoffs at his greens. He gives me the classic bearded dragon one-eye-tilt look when I talk to him. I could go on and on. He is absolutely precious.
I got him shipped to me from a small beardie raiser in Boise, Oklahoma. He survived the 27 hours to get to me while inside a tiny box and I mean, he deserves a round of applause for that at the very least. By the way, if you want to check out where I got him from, it’s called UpscalzClassicDragons. The lady’s name who runs it is Amy and she’s lovely! Answered all my questions and has an Instagram page that really shows her passion and love for animals. (Bonus points if she ate plant-based, but I don’t think she’s there yet…)
Anyway, my little plus one has made quarantine life a lot more fun. I really enjoy his company.
If you are getting tired of quarantine life like I was, please don’t immediately go purchase an animal. I made a post a while back about seven things to do during quarantine. Go read that first and IF you still want an animal, I am assigning you to read minimum 10 articles and watch at least 10 videos on the species you are considering. Every animal deserves a loving home, so make sure you know what you’re getting into before you adopt.
Happy quarantine, loves. Cheers!
XOXO.
how can it be so perfect
so precise
so flawless
as if it were cut like a diamond
every smile
every laugh
every touch
magical
you wonder how it could be
you look up
at the beautiful gem
each angle
positioned with perfection
one tenth of a centimeter of error
would have thrown it off its course
but no such error occurs
its beauty remains ever so powerful
how can it be
To All My Fellow Quarantiners from around the Globe:
Greetings from Dallas, Texas. I have to say that even with all of this chaos, fear, and sorrow going around, I am grateful for the fact that I’ve never felt this connected to each and every one of you.
The vast majority of us know about COVID 19 and all of the grief and change it has brought about in our lives. And we are all feeling so many of the same emotions. We are lonely, scared, confused, worried about the repercussions of this pandemic, and anxious we are not “doing enough” with all of our newly acquired free time.
I just want to send a note and remind you we are all in this together. Let’s take it one day at a time and not be too hard on ourselves. Whatever emotion you are feeling- accept it. Whatever you are doing with your time- it is okay. Most of us have never experienced a pandemic before. And we’re only human. We are coping in the best way we can and again, whatever that looks like for you, is absolutely perfect. (As long as you’re being safe and staying home. *smile*)
So here goes: 7 Ideas to Make Quarantine Life Even More Fun.
So there we have it, seven things you can do to make the best out of staying home. My hope is that even if you don’t like any of my seven ideas, this list has opened your mind and helped you think of something new and innovative that you would like to do instead.
That’s all I’ve got for today, my friends. I am sending virtual hugs to all of you and wish you the best. Stay strong, loves.
XX
Natasha
A time like today is more momentous than our mind's are perceiving We aimlessly stare at our tv screens for updates We make sure not to step within six feet of a stranger Our 20 minute work commute has turned into A 5 step walk into the living room Our "fun" is a trip to the understocked grocery store The store that is filled with people who do not want to be there We sit curled up in pajamas while desperately scrolling our phones For something of meaningless value To provide us with a brief moment of comfort and entertainment We don't go out and get dressed up for dinner dates Instead we try new recipes or heat up meals at home All of which to eat sullen and alone We do the dishes and put them up nicely Solely because it is a task that could be done This is a national pandemic Yes we complain and yes we are often alone But this time will forever be in all the history books Your grandchildren will ask you about COVID-19 You will have a story to tell This era is history in the making An avalanche of disease spreading not seen in centuries Probably one we will never again see in our lifetimes No one promised it would be easy to get through this Let alone knew something like this was coming Our society is learning and educating itself Despite the contrary we do indeed have people who care People risking their lives and on the front lines People at the top making trickle down decisions People who genuinely care for every last one of us So much is unknown So much is untold The human race cannot deal with this So we have made assumptions and created tales But we must accept not knowing the answer We must learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable This time is a test of our patience and our gratitude Are you safe Are you free Are you without pain This is a journey and a process we are in together It is a time to strengthen and instill trust in our community A time to give gratitude to every working medical provider A time to think greatly about those who we want in government power Remember they are making the decisions and we elect them Give the universe and the higher power your thoughts and prayers Send messages to your loved ones every day and night Stay true and loving to yourself Respect the world around you And never lose hope in what will soon become XX
Tomorrow you are going to wake up and there is going to be a manual in front of you. Your whole room is going to be dark except for this one item that sits on top of a small white table with a bright light shining down on it. It is black, an old handwritten journal with a thick cover.
Inside lies the outline of the rest of your life. This manual says everything from what you will be doing today, tomorrow, next year, next decade, all the way up until the day you die. It says how successful you will be, who (if anyone) you will marry, and how many kids you will have (or don’t have). It says where you will live, what car you will drive, and what jobs you will have. Nothing is hidden. Everything is exposed.
_____________________________________________________________________________
I don’t know about you, but I am completely turned off, dare I said ‘mad,’ about the essence of just thinking this could happen. I know in some way or another, you are too. Why? Isn’t that what we want? All of our goals, dreams, and missions- we all want them handed to us right? This manual literally is step by step what will happen in our lives. It did the work for us. It made life clear cut and simple. An ‘easy’ life. This is what we always beg for! Am I wrong? No. So why does the notion of this concept despise us?
This is why:
Life is a series of misalignments.Â
Drawing a straight line is boring. Constructing a curvy line with endless possibilities of where it could end up on the other hand- is fu*king fun.
The next time you see somehow who seemingly has it all–whether that is Jeff Bezos, Oprah, or Bill Gates–stop wishing you were them. Stop saying how lucky they are and undervaluing yourself. No one is given a manual. Your life is what you make it, If you want to change the direction your line is going, pick up the pencil.
And more importantly? Have fun drawing your line. Life’s accomplishments are not just about the end result. They’re about the journey. Be thankful for the highs and grow from the lows. Remember, we *don’t* want the manual. We want to figure this out for ourselves and take this crazy beautiful thing called life one day at a time.
Now possessing this manual is impossible. However, I can tell you right now the most important determining factor that can literally make or break you success is y-o-u and your actions.
So tomorrow, make a manual. And no, not one for your entire life. Start with a month. Write down what you’re going to do each day that month in order to get you one step closer toward that end goal. One step closer toward that job, that degree, that income, that relationship, that trip, that invention, that career path, or anything else.
MAKE your manual.
Don’t let life give you some crap plan. YOU are the creator of your success.
Just a little inspiration as I’m deep in thought today. Quarantine really has been opening my mind and my passions.
Peace and blessings, everyone. Take care of yourselves.
NatashaConAmor 